Embarrassing Stories

How long has it been since you laughed so hard it made you cry?

 

I laugh that hard at everything so I’m probably not the best person to ask. And neither is Hafsa.

But these stories are bound to make you fall off your chair in hysterics…or at least make you smile. 😀

 

You’re welcome to post your own embarrassing/funny stories in the comments!

okay so i was in my room, celebrating the fact that exams were ova (!!!!) and then i hear guests coming and after a while i thot they left. So i randomly go out and in to the lounge and go “Ta-da-da-dum!” and then, turns out they were still there. the guy just luks up and givs me this wierd look. i dont see what will happen next, i jus gap it out of the room. Now that i think about it running away probably made it worse!

Okay, THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING EVER… I swear I could kill my friends. So we were just sitting in the usual spot at lunch when a few of our friends come along. ” Hey this is where you hang out?” one of them asks. ” Yeah, right next to all the cute white guys!” (let me assure you this was not in any form meant to be racist, there are just a heap of guys there so my friend was only pointing out which ones) and the ‘cute white guys’ just look at us like this o.O- think that’s as bad as it can get? Well, then another one of my friends turns around and says loudly “HEY THRE’S A GUY EATING A SANDWICH OVER HERE!” That was the moment we stood up and walked away.

So. It was about 10 o’clock in the night and I came out of my room, about half an hour later I tried to go back in… and guess what? It was locked from the inside. Not so bad is it? Yeah, until we couldn’t get in from the window either so we ended up having to call the neighbours for a ladder (why don’t we own one? It would have saved me the humiliation I went through!!) And they were watching as my dad opens the window, sends my brother through and opens the door.

Once we walked into a shop, and it was like so quiet i could hear my heart beating and then CRASH! My friend knocks over this tin thingie that makes a HUGE noise on the tiled floor. Everyone in the shop and even outside the shop was staring at us and we quickly cleaned up and ran out of there as soon as we could! It was sooo embarrassing!

In Year 8 we went ice skating and it was the last day of school, and being a totally messed up ice skater and slipping and falling flat on my butt in front of virtually everyone in my year, i realized that jeans weren’t the best choice of clothing…the falling had made a noticeable hole under my back pocket!! and that’s not even the worst part…i had to go on STAGE like that! Talk about mortifying!!

This isn’t actually something that happened but it’s been going around and it’s so hilarious. Imagine that you’re on a packed bus, and you really need to fart a really big fart. OK, so you decide to let it loose, as the music is playing really loud. Then you think, hey why not have some fun with it, so you decide to do it ‘playfully’, by doing it with the beat to the music. Then, when you’re leaving the bus, you see that everyone is staring. And then you realize that you had your iPod on!!!!!!! (if that actually happened…yeah, uhhh haha don’t imagine anyone would EVER want to sit next to you when you had your iPod with you!)

We were in a room full of people, and i was about to sit down, when my bro pulled the classic prank on me. He pulled the chair away and i landed on the floor, hit my head on the table and knocked over a vase which broke. Oooops.

This is probably…no, not probably, definitely the stupidest thing i ever did. It was a freeeezing morning (-3ºC) and i was sitting in front of the heater, real close, and i didn’t realize but my head touched the heater and like a bit of my fringe just turned to ash!! :O :O :O So not cool!

This happened to my friend. She was running out the door and the girl in front of her shut the door behind her…and guess what? The door smacked her right across the face and left a noticeable bruise on her cheek. Ouch.

When we went shopping at a mall with my little sister, (who is 8). We saw a guy with old, baggy clothing, dark sunglasses and what looked like a cup in his hand. My sister, being the giving type, asked if she could give some money. i gave her a handful of change and she went to the man and tried to put the money in the cup. He kept moving his cup away, and i finally heard him say, ” don’t put that in my coffee! The salvation army is right over there!”

My friends are all major klutzes. It was last period and me and my friend sit next to one of those high-up windows that you wind shut with a windy lever thing. So when the teacher told us to close the windows, she closed the window and then turned around, and somehow hit her head on the lever and let out a little yelp. The whole class turned around and cracked up laughing. The next day, my one of my other friends lent someone her pen, and that person was leaving class early. My friend, being the unorganized type, had nothing else to write with for the rest of the day, so she rushed out after that person, and stuck out her head between the closing door, and it closed right on her face. The next day, they both had bruises, one on her head and the other on her cheek.

OK I gotta admit, I read this on the internet, but can’t remember where, so here goes:

I go into the washroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into the second stall. I had just sat down when I hear a voice from the other stall…
-Hi there, how is it going?
Okay, I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms in the next cubicle, so finally I say:
-Not bad…
Then the voice says:
-So, what are you doing?
I am starting to find this totally weird, but I say:
-Well, I’m going back east…
Then I hear the person, all flustered, say:
-Look, I’ll call you back-every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!

These are from Reader’s Digest’s Top 50 Funny Stories (only the first 10 :)):

1. We were really confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, a colleague came upon the following garbled diagnosis: “This man has pholenfrometry.” 
Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head. 
“This man,” he said, translating for her, “has fallen from a tree.” 
–Patricia Longbottom 

2. Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found an elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet-who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. 
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, I asked if his wife was meeting him. 
“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.” 
–Patsy R. Dancey 

3. One crazy day in our pediatric clinic saw me hand a young patient a urine sample container and tell him to fill it up in the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned to my nurse’s station with an empty cup. 
“I didn’t need this after all,” he said. “There was a toilet in there.” 
–Linda Feikle 

4. I was already a nervous wreck about my upcoming surgery. It didn’t help matters when the admitting nurse asked me, “Have you had a hysterectomy before?” 
–Terry Wisener

5. Watching a movie recently, I couldn’t hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women in front of me. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder. “Excuse me,” I said. “I can’t hear.” 
“I should hope not,” she answered. “This is a private conversation.” 
–David Carver 

6. My husband decided to install a light switch in our master bedroom. Cutting into the wall, he discovered a stash of bottles and boxes. 
“Honey!” he called excitedly. “Come see what I found!” 
I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole he had made in the back of our medicine cabinet. 
–Nola Pirart

7. The minute I walked into the post office, the postmaster noticed the new earrings my husband had given me. 
“Those must be real diamonds,” she said. 
“Yes,” I said. “How could you tell?” 
“Because,” she said, “no one buys fake diamonds that small.” 
–Deborah Caudell 

8. When a woman in my office recently became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest,” she said. 
“How long have you been married?” I asked. 
“Ten years,” she replied. 
–Tonya Winter 

9. “What is that sound?” a woman visiting our nature center asked. 
“It’s the frogs trilling for a mate,” Patti, the naturalist, explained. “We have a pair in the science room. But they’ve been together for so long, they no longer sing to each other.” 
The woman nodded sympathetically. “The trill is gone.” 
–KathyJo Townson

10. We rushed our four-year-old son, Ben, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, high fever, and vomiting. The doctor did an exam, then asked Ben what bothered him the most. After thinking it over, Ben said hoarsely, “I would have to say my little sister.” 
–Angela Schmid 

I know it’s supposed to be 10, but i found this one quite funny too:

31. Sitting in coach during a lengthy flight, my wife and I heard a flight attendant ask the high-paying passengers in first class, “Would you care for Chardonnay or Burgundy?” 
A few minutes later, the curtains between the two sections parted, and the attendant wheeled the wine cart back to our aisle. “Excuse me,” he said, looking down at us, “would you care for a glass of wine? We have white and red.” 
–William V. Copeland

OK so this isn’t all that funny, but yeah, it was interval and we were walking around and then i had to put something in my bag. So i put my bag on the bench, and when i lift it up again i realize that there was a huge puddle of water there…-.-!! I had to walk around for the rest of the day, with my bag DRIPPING wet and my friends laughing at me. 😛

Some funny icons: