Sardarji Jokes

So everyone knows that Sardarji jokes are super common (and super funny) in India pretty much the equivalent to blonde jokes.
Before I start I just want to say I’m putting these jokes on for a laugh, not trying to disrespect or offend anybody, so no hard feelings!!

Sardar : I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend : why?
Sardar : Got upper berth.
Friend : why didn’t you exchange?
Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..

Mano ya na mano
Santa singh and Banta singh were found playing chess.

Santa Singh : ‘Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?’ Banta Singh : ‘Yes, that’s funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?’

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard Iqbal stops him and says, ‘What’s in the bags?’
‘Sand,’ answered the Sardarji.
Iqbal says, ‘We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.’
Iqbal’s guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, ‘What have you got?’ ‘Sand,’ says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn’t show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a ‘Dhaba’ in Islamabad.
‘Hey, Buddy,’ says Iqbal, ‘I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about…I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?’
The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, ‘Bikes’

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had
lost the weight, but he had a problem.
“What’s the problem?” asked the doctor. “I’m
2400 kms from home.”

Sardar: For the past week a girl is disturbing me.
I don’t know how she got my number, but she interrupts whenever I call someone and says “please recharge your card”

A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.
He went to the service department and found a mechanic, Mr Santa working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As the customer watched from the passenger’s side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.
“Hey,” he announced to the technician, “It’s open!”
“I know,” answered Santa- “I already got that side.”

Santa was visiting the big city for the first time. He checks in at the hotel, and the bell boy takes his bags.
He follows the boy, and as the door closes, he looks around and shakes his fist at him. `Young man, I may be from the village and unfamiliar with the city, but that don`t mean I`m stupid! I paid good money, and this room won`t do at all! It`s too small, and without proper ventilation! Why there`s not even a bed!`
The bellboy looks at Santa and says, `Sir, this isn`t your room, it`s the elevator!`

Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he did, and he replied ” Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought and at last wrote – THUNK !!!”

Santa thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and, also, their anniversary.
He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to Jeetoo on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.”
His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when Santa came home, kissed her and said offhandedly, “Nice flowers, where’d you get them?”

The homeowner was delighted with the way Santa had done all the paintwork on his house.
“You did a great job,” he said as he handed Santa his fees. “Also, in order to thank-you, here’s an extra 500 bucks to take the wife out to dinner and a movie.”
Santa declined, saying, “No, I can’t accept that.”
“I insist,” said the man. “It would make me very happy if you do it.”
“Well,” said Santa reluctantly, but with appreciation, “If you really don’t mind it, I’ll do it.”
Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was Santa, standing there in clean clothes, holding a bouquet of flowers.
Thinking that Santa had forgotten something he asked, “What’s the matter, did you leave something behind?”
“Nope,” replied Santa. “I’m just h
ere to take the wife out to dinner and a movie like you asked.”

Santa bought a new phone.
He called everyone from his Phone Book & said “My Mobile No. has changed.Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610”

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