Tag Archives: Funny

Share something that makes you smile

So, I was checking out the Daily Post blog, since I’ve taken up the Post A Week 2011 challenge, and I came across this topic:

Share something that makes you smile…

Well, there’s a lot that makes me smile, jokes, AFV, people falling over, things falling over… people falling over that make things fall over… and so on and so forth.

As you can see, I’m an extremely decisive person… *ahem* so I’m going to put up a truck load* of things that makes me smile.

*and by truck load, I’m referring to one of these little Tonka trucks:

Alright, jokes aside, let’s get started. Haha, just kidding. Speaking of jokes, here are a few that cracked a smile:

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires!

Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks! 😀

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.” So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Moving on… Falls. They’re great. Usually. Sometimes not so much if you’re doing the falling. But nonetheless- falls are great. Falls are/can be epic. Falls are smiles.

But the best falls? WEDDING FALLS!
Thank you AFV 🙂

AND MORE FALLS!! :’D








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EMOTICON CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

😀

Emoticons. Or smileys, whichever you prefer…
Who doesn’t love them?

🙂

Okay, so I’ve been a little crazy these days and I thought why not put up a crazy post… ON EMOTICONS!
Plus, they’re everywhere; texts, emails, Facebook, IMs, on plain old paper, legal documents… okay, maybe not on those YET… but it’s not long before they appear. I mean, what better way to add emotion to your expressions and confuse people?

😛

But it can get a little stale when the same ones appear in every conversation you have… again and again and yet… again.

😦

So, we’re getting whacky and creative with with the keyboard on Ebony Ink like we do

😉

😎  8 )
the geek. or the cool dude. depends on how you see it.

c[=     c(=
a cool variation on the classic and done to death =P or 😛

: o)    :o(    or    🙂    😦
the noses. oh so many noses. just beware they don’t look all that great on any face.

><   or   >.<
this is CUTE!!!!!!!!!!

L=
downright cheeky.

='(   or    😥
the crying face. i don’t see a lot of these around these days. they’re all replaced with:

T.T    or   T_T
a little on the scary side but nevertheless… there are tears.

(o)_(o)
this is…. weird to say the least.it looks a little like Chicken Little, don’t you think?

-.-
the ‘you idiot.’

-__________-
the ‘are you for real’

=.=’
the whole… eehhhhhh thing.

*.*   or   *_*
ZOMBIE-FIED!! or starstruck. whichever you prefer.

-_•    or   >_0   or   >_•
the best variations of the boooring -;)-

o.e
the ‘i can’t believe you’ eye flutter

o.o
yeah, i don’t know what it is. it’s easy though.

=S   or   =\
pretty standard ones… but i thought i’d throw it in there.

={|
my personal favourite… THE MOUSTACHE MAN

|_|
and his trusty sidekick… the… uhh… THE LINE MAN!

That’s all for now… UNLESS…. unless, YOU, yes YOU have one to share? =-) (<—this is a classic example of where not to stick a nose)


We’re Back and Bigger Than Ever Before!

Welcome to the all new Glitter Generator - http://www.glittertextgraphics.com

As you might have noticed we’ve changed quite a bit on the blog and now we’re taking the makeover further!

We have (finally) added those sparkly new pages we said we would so check out our…

DOMpage

RAOKpage

1 pic 1000 wordspage

So the pages aren’t exactly filled up yet but they will be soon, so if you have a touching quote or story, some motivation, inspiration, an urge to show off something nice you did for someone even though you didn’t have to, or someone did something for you that touched your heart, leave a comment to share it with the rest of the world. =]

And just so you don’t miss out on anything make sure you Bookmark us and check back because the next 10 days at Ebony Ink are going to be filled with changes and BRAND NEW STUFF!!

If you have any comments or suggestions for us, please leave us a comment and we’ll be sure to get back as soon as we possibly can (24 hours at the most, since we may be in different time zones =])

Till then… a bientot!




Ladles and Jellyspoons

This is a really quirky and nonsensical poem Hafsa told me about so I went and looked it up on Google…

I come before you
to stand behind you

And tell you something
I know nothing about

Next Thursday,
which is Good Friday,
there will be a Mothers meeting,
for Fathers only.
Wear your best clothes
if you haven’t any,
and if you can come,
please stay at home.
Admission’s free
pay at the door.
Take a seat
and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference
where you sit
The man in the gallery’s
sure to spit. 🙂



Whittaker’s VS Cadbury

I have to admit, I am a Whittaker girl, so I thought I’d put up the ad that’s been centre of attention for the past few weeks. I think it’s really quirky and unless you’ve watched it before, it’s a slight shocker.

It compelled me to think that maybe this was a contributing factor in Cadbury’s decision to bring back cocoa butter to their chocolate. There is a slight possibility.

I’m not going to say much more… The brilliant ad speaks for itself.

That last part hits the NZ target audience right where it hurts the most… their patriotic ego. This is definitely my favourite ad of the year!

And just so I’m being fair please vote for your favourite chocolate so I have something to prove… WITH STATISTICAL EVIDENCE :



The weirdest thing happened today…

These arent my glasses but they look similar ;)

These aren't my glasses but they look similar 😉

It was a normal boring day at school and me and Hafsa were hanging around with a bunch of friends. After the bell rang for fourth period, I realized I didn’t have my glasses, so me and Hafsa went back to our lockers and turned the place upside down looking for them. Now, the reason I probably lost them and got to class ten minutes late is that I never actually wear them (I don’t need them…they’re like 0.4…pssssh)!

But anyway, I go through my bag twice and my locker and Hafsa triple checks and we can not find them ANYWHERE. We even tracked back everywhere I’d been since I last remember holding my glasses (it  was like my childhood phase dream of wanting to be a detective coming true). Finally, Hafsa decides to check her locker just INCASE I’d left them there for some really strange reason… So  she reaches into her pocket for her keys and can you guess what she pulls out? Go on take a guess….

Yeah, she finds MY glasses in HER pocket.

The CRAZIEST thing? Neither of us know how they got there. I have no recollection of giving them to her or leaving them anywhere near her and she doesn’t remember putting them in her pocket. And besides why would she put them in her pocket instead of giving them to me if she found them somewhere? How weird is that??

And since it’s a mystery let’s put our imaginations out there and make completely ridiculous assumptions about how they may have got there… So, if you think you know, put your theory down in the comments.

My Theory:

Before I start let me just tell you, I don’t do sci-fi, but I’m trying, so it’s kinda… rough?

IT WAS A PORTAL AND AN ALEIN ABDUCTION.

Yeah, that’s right. A portal and an alien abduction. Here’s what I assume happened:

1. We were abducted by an alien army and they knocked us out using some super complex alien formula of a sedative or something that they injected into us.
2. The aliens then did some tests and blah dee blah dee blah (you know… they usual thing)
3. Then they erased our memories (taking extra safety measures… I like it, I like it. It’s like Hafsa. Perhaps she’s related to aliens? Hmm… maybe I’ll put up a theory about that too, what do you think?) and  then they sent us back using a portal.
4. The portal then went through a complication involving communication difficulty some data was shuffled and manipulated. The aliens managed to retrieve the information and put it back together at super speed but my glasses were left in her pocket.
5. There. That’s it. The mystery is solved. Yeah?

Okay, I know how this sounds and you’re probably thinking ‘what a complete cracker’, and if we’re not on the same wavelength, you are free to share your own theory about this that may or may not be somewhat as rational as mine. 😀

ps I like this… being an idiot is so much FUN! Oh come on… don’t pretend you don’t do it too! And don’t pretend you can do it as well as I can… 😉

We will get to the bottom of this!! (with your help 🙂 )


Rumour Has It: Some widely believed rumours-BUSTED!

Heard about the one about ATM envelopes poisoned with cyanide? How about the one about the Hawaiian tourists who have taken rocks or sand from the island, and angered the goddess of fire and volcanoes, Pele, and have been followed by bad luck since? Or perhaps you’re more familiar with the one about Donald Duck being banned from Finland because he didn’t wear pants?

Well, two of them are false, and one of them is supposedly true. So here I go busting these urban legends…

The rumour goes something like this; a customer died after licking an envelope at a teller machine to make a deposit, and according to the police, Dr. Elliot at the Women’s College Hospital found traces of cyanide in the lady’s mouth and digestive system. Police traced the poison to the glue on the envelope she deposited that day, and upon further inspection, found six more. The poison was mixed with the glue and was colourless and odourless. They suspected some sicko was targeting a particular bank and had been putting these envelopes beside machines at different locations. It was sent by Kimberly Clarkson from the Crime Unit, Department for Public Health. It even gave a number-416 563 9905.
This warning begin circulating on the internet in 1999 (and I thought chain-mails were the invention of some new generation nincompoop…turns out not, maybe like it’s an old family tradition or something?). There was no such death and there were definitely no such envelopes. When asked about the emailed warning, Women’s Health and Sciences Centre said it is not connected with the note, and they don’t even have a Dr. Elliot on their staff. And that’s not all, Kathleen Harte, manager of communications for Toronto Public Health claimed that, ” It’s a hoax. We have no such person on staff. The Public Health Department doesn’t have a crime unit. There is no death to our knowledge that occurred. If somebody had died of cyanide poisoning we would have heard about this.” Well, all I have to say to that is, if you’re going to make up a scarelore, at least do some research first!

This one, is said to be true. It’s a Hawaiian legend-anyone that removes a piece of rock from the Hawaiian Volcanoes National Park will incur the wrath of the Goddess Pele. Terrible curses will follow those that do prompting them to soon abandon the rock(s) in the interest of self preservation.

Now, although I am slightly skeptical of this, I certainly do find it very interesting. Can a souvenir, pocketed with no immoral intention result in a horrible series of unforgiving tragedies? Well, thousands have come  to believe that yes, they can.

Why it all happens? Well, legends say that Pele, the Goddess of fire and volcanoes is angered when the rocks (which she sees as her children) are taken from her that she puts a terrible curse on the thief, as a way to get even. She is especially protective of volcanic rock and sand, two of the items tourists thoughtlessly purloin as a token of their holiday.

To prove that I’m not just spinning this out of thin air for my amusement, I have proof from a reliable source (snopes.com) about this. Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and numerous other hotels are flooded with packages containing sand, shells and rocks from guilt-ridden vacationers who attempt at breaking the sudden downpour of bad luck and disasters that have ensued them. Some of these packages are accompanied by notes begging for forgiveness and mercy of the goddess as such;

Please take this sand and put it back somewhere on you island. I have had very bad luck since it came into my life and I am very sorry I took it. Please forgive me and I pray that once I send it back where it comes from, my bad luck will go away.

Please return to soil. I have been having bad luck.

Ever since we have taken items, we have had nothing but bad luck and medical problems. We apologize for taking items, so we are returning them to Hawaii.

We placed the rock last fall on a cast iron chair in our garden, this spring the chair’s leg had fallen off. This is the least of the problems we have had since we have taken the rock.

Pele’s professed jinx is not of the mild kind either. Those allegedly afflicted by it have had grievous things occur; pets have died, jobs have been lost, houses burnt down, sudden deaths and illnesses striking loved ones, marriages broken…scary huh?
What comes to mind after researching and writing up this report? Unfortunate things happening right after you pick up a rock from a Hawaiian volcano-sheer co-incidence topped by desperate and superstitious attempts at trying to turn their ‘bad luck’ around or Goddess Pele’s jinx? Personally, I’m not so sure that I’m one of the thousands who believe this curse to be real.

Donald Duck was once banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. And also because he cavorted with an unmarried female duck. That’s one we frivolously love to believe. And I hate to break it to you, but it’s nothing more than a speculation-and it gets slightly political, too as I discovered.
This myth begins in 1977, when Helsinki found itself in a bit of a financial tight spot. This lead to Mr Markku Holopainen, a local Liberal Party rep, proposing a meeting of the board of youth affairs. There, he suggested they stop purchasing Donald Duck comics for youth centres. A year later, while Holopainen was in the midst of an election campaign for a seat in the Finnish parliament, information was leaked to the press that he was responsible for the ‘ban of Donald Duck from Helsinki’ (now I wonder who told…). The chairman of the board failed to defend Holopainen (not surprised-he was a candidate himself). Holopainen made a futile attempt at explaining that the decision to discontinue the purchase of the comics was solely due to monetary reasons and was made concordantly. Holopainen failed to convince the press and lost the election to the board chairman (hmmm…see what I mean about it being just a teensy bit political?).
When a similar incident had taken place in the town of Kemi, Finland, the international press had mirthfully exaggerated the story with headlines such as, ‘Finland bans Donald’ and ‘Donald Vanishes from Libraries,’ reporting that Donald was expelled due to concerns over his lack of pants (it’s funny, really, what the media assumes and what we are prepared to believe) and questions about his marital status (he’s a duck for Gods’ sake, not to mention a cartoon!). As the foreign news filtered to Finland, the local tabloids didn’t attempt to verify the story-instead they just ran articles on the reaction it was receiving abroad. ‘Donald Not Married; Politicians Outraged!’ and ‘Donald, Where Are Your Trousers’ were also among the headlines in papers overseas, Finns were told.
But the hullabaloo was gone as instantly as it came. Disney cartoons became more popular on Finnish television, leading the more cynical to wonder if this had been a publicity stunt by Disney. If it was, you have to give it to them, it was pretty guileful and quirky.
The whole no pants business turned out rather political and unethical than you would assume.

Tell us what you think about these legends and rumours. Have you heard of the cyanide envelopes? Do you believe in the curse of Hawaiian Goddess Pele? What about Donald Duck? 😀 So feel free to drop a comment on this because we’d love to hear some different opinions on this topic. Urban legends, myths and rumours-there’s some pretty interesting stuff that you can uncover if you just do a little bit of research. And if you’ve heard a few other rumours you’re wondering about, feel free to let me know and I’ll try to dig it up!!


Ideas Ideas Ideas!

Hey guys,

we have a problem! We’re out of ideas on how to improve the blog, and considering it’s you guys who read it, we’d like some advice on how to improve it from YOU! What would you like us to put on that we havent already, what we can add or replace, some of the cool stuff we should continue with, what needs more improvement…you catch the drift. We dedicate a lot of time and effort into the blog (even though it may not seem as though we do, but hey, we’re a couple of 15-year-olds, with tons of homework) and the blog is still in its initial stages. And while I’m at it I might as well add; people open up, put on your own embarrassing story in the Embarrassing Stories Page! They can’t be that bad, right? So bear in mind that it can be ANYTHING that you want to read about, more Disney stuff, something cool new or crazy, anything at all! So PLEASE help us out, give us some ideas on what you like, coz we’d really appreciate that!

DON’T BE SHY! Drop us a comment with some much needed advice or share a moment with us that you are likely never to forget! 😀 (I’m looking forward to those… 😉 )

btw this post will be up top for a bit so scroll down for the latest post!


Funny Bits From ‘Round the Net

I was doing some homework when something popped up, and me being me, I couldn’t help but click it. It opened up a jokes website, and I got distracted from my homework and decided to put up some of the funniest on the blog.

We regret to report that His Majesty King Oberon has suffered a serious accident (9th June 2009). It seems that while tethering his horse after dismounting he slipped and sat down rather suddenly and unexpectedly. His horse took this as a signal to do likewise, and promptly sat on him.

Oh, how Canadians love Canada
When the snow’s up to their butt
And take a breath of winter
And their nose gets frozen shut
Yes the winter here is wonderful
So I guess I’ll hang around
I could never leave Canada
I’m frozen to the ground!

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

Read the fine print

Read the fine print

Just like every other day!

Just like every other day!

:D


The Mean Kitty Song

Funny!!


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