MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

 

yes, the bells are ringing, Santa Claus is here…Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!! As a special treat, here are a bunch of funny stories surrounding Christmas and New year found in none other than our much loved search engine Google! Enjoy…

Mirror Image

On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be’

Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, ‘How about some perfume?’ She showed him a bottle costing £75. [$150USD]

‘Too expensive,’ muttered Nathan.

The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for £50. ‘Oh dear,’ Nathan groused, ’still far too much.’

Growing rather annoyed at Nathan’s meanness, the sales girl brought out a tiny £10 bottle and offered it to him.

Nathan became really agitated, ‘What I mean’, he whined, ‘is I’d like to see something really cheap.’

So the sales girl handed him a mirror.

How They Forecast a Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2009/10 was going to be cold or mild.  The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter.  However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord Michigan.

‘Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,’ the meteorological officer told the chief.  Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. ‘Are you still forecasting a cold winter?’ he asked.

‘Yes, very cold’, the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. ‘Yes,’ he was told, ‘it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.

The weatherman replied: ‘Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.’

Short Funny Xmas Story

Just before Xmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus all got into the lift (elevator) at the Ritz Hotel in London. As the lift travelled from the 5th floor down to the ground level, one-by-one they noticed a £50 note lying on the lift’s floor.

Which one picked up the £50 note, and handed it in at reception?

Santa of course, the other two don’t actually exist!

Grandpa’s Christmas Story

Grandpa decided that shopping for Christmas presents had become too difficult. All his grandchildren had everything they needed, so he decided to send them each a cheque (check).

On each card he wrote:

‘Happy Christmas Grandpa’

P.S. ‘Buy your own present!’

Conclusion:

Now, while Grandpa enjoyed the family festivities, he thought that his grandchildren were just slightly distant. It preyed on his mind into the New Year. Then one day he was sorting out his study and under a pile of magazines, he found a little pile of cheques (checks) for his grandchildren. He had completely forgotten to put them in with the Christmas cards

New Year Stories

A Bad Dream?

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, ‘I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?’

‘Aha, you’ll know tonight,’ answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: ‘The meaning of dreams’.

 

okay, so i admit. i cudnt find awesomely great jokes on New Year. So i went on the Reader’s Digest website and found these…

Conflict

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb- blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.

“What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?” Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.

“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

Submitted by Nancy Gomes

Making Sure

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “Okay, now what?”

Submitted by Gerald Doka

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found an elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet-who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, I asked if his wife was meeting him.

“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

–Patsy R. Dancey

One crazy day in our pediatric clinic saw me hand a young patient a urine sample container and tell him to fill it up in the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned to my nurse’s station with an empty cup.

“I didn’t need this after all,” he said. “There was a toilet in there.”

–Linda Feikle

 When a woman in my office recently became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest,” she said.

“How long have you been married?” I asked.

“Ten years,” she replied.

–Tonya Winter

Wedded Blitz

 The minute I walked into the post office, the postmaster noticed the new earrings my husband had given me.

“Those must be real diamonds,” she said.

“Yes,” I said. “How could you tell?”

“Because,” she said, “no one buys fake diamonds that small.”

–Deborah Caudell

Look what Xmas led to! oh well, it was still fun, rite? So, have a merry xmas, enjoy your holiday and come back for more in Ebony Ink!

Jason Earles’ Age

Well-known actor in Hannah Montana, Jason Earles, is 32 years old.

 Yeah, this boyish looking guy is 32! I couldn’t believe it the first time i heard it from a friend in Facebook. He looks way too young for his age. So i went on google (as i always tend to do) and researched upon this bizzare fact. Wikipedia said that no one is actually sure of his age. Apparently there’s reports that he’s 19 and other reports that assure he’s 32. Well, this is what Wikipedia said.

So i went out and looked up more info. and here are some very interesting trivia i found…

Graduated from Glencoe High School in Hillsboro, Oregon, class of 1995.

Is a fan of Elvis Presley.

He is a trained equestrian rider.

He loves going to the mountains so that he can go snowboarding.

He has two pet cats, Timmy and Presley.

He learned how to talk as though he had a cleft palate for a role in a play.

He likes to play video games in his spare time.

His favorite sport is Baseball.

He says that the school subjects he liked the most were science and math.

His likeness was used to create Jackson’s Beach Treat Delivery on Disney Channel’s Web site.

Has become close with the Cyrus family since he started working with Billy Ray Cyrus and Miley Cyrus on “Hannah Montana” (2006).

He met his wife Jennifer while attending Rocky Mountain College.

He is mostly cast in teenage roles due to his young boyish looks.

 It’s more surprising that he’s married. I just didn’t imagine him as the type to already be married. Talk about surprises!

2012

2012 is a movie, released on November 12th (although the date is varied in various countries), and is based on a famous belief that the world’s going to end. I have a friend who’s already freaking out because of this movie and the belief that surrounds it. Personally i think this is just the media’s way of scaring us in to saving the planet from global warming and stuff like that. Anyway, i was curious and so i went on google and searched for 2012. As expected Wikipedia gave me a whole lot of stuff on this common belief. Along with the info, there was this curious timeline of “scheduled” ( they actually used that word) events that could occur before the world ends (according to them, anyway). Below you’ll find this list of events…

January

January 13–22 – The first Winter Youth Olympics will be held in Innsbruck, Austria.

January 31 – 433 Eros, the second-largest Near Earth Object on record (size 13×13×33 km) will pass Earth at 0.1790 astronomical units (26,778,019 km; 16,639,090 mi). NASA studied Eros with the NEAR Shoemaker probe launched on February 17, 1996.[3]

February

February 6 – Diamond Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II marking the 60th anniversary of her accession to the Thrones of the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia & New Zealand (as well as the 60th anniversary of her becoming Head of the Commonwealth).

March

March 22 – Unless the European Council votes to extend current copyright law, The Beatles’ debut album, Please Please Me, will fall out of copyright.[4]

April

April 17 – The United States will cede wartime control of the military of the Republic of Korea after 50 years and dissolve the Combined Forces Command. Two distinct military commands (South Korea and the United States) will operate in Korea during wartime, rather than one unified command under the Combined Forces Command.[citation needed]

May

May 20 – Annular solar eclipse. Path of annularity runs through the Pacific Ocean from northern China to California.

June

June 6 – The second and last solar transit of Venus of the century. The next pair is predicted to occur in 2117 and 2125.

June 9 – July 1 – The UEFA Euro 2012 will be played in Poland and Ukraine.

June 18 – June 23 – Turing Centenary Conference at the University of Cambridge, in honor of the mathematician, computer scientist, and cryptographer Alan Turing, the last day of the conference being the hundredth anniversary of his birth. [1]

July

July 18–21 – The 2012 World Rowing Championships will be held at Plovdiv, Bulgaria.

July 27 – Opening ceremony of the 2012 Summer Olympics begins in London at 7:30 pm UTC, 8:30pm BST.[5]

August

August 12 – Closing ceremony of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, a Sunday.

August 29 – Start of the 2012 Summer Paralympics.

November

November 13 – Total solar eclipse (visible in northern Australia and the South Pacific).

November 28 – Penumbral lunar eclipse.

December

December 3 – Jupiter in opposition.

December 17 – Members of the Electoral College meet in each U.S. state.

December 21 – 11:11 UTC. Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, Summer Solstice in the Southern Hemisphere.[6]

December 21 – The Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, notably used by the pre-Columbian Maya civilization among others, completes a “great cycle” of thirteen b’ak’tuns (periods of 144,000 days each) since the mythical creation date of the calendar’s current era.[7] On this day the Long Count date at creation—written 13.0.0.0.0 in modern notation, equivalent to August 11, 3114 BC in the proleptic Gregorian calendar—is repeated for the first time in a span of a little over 5,125 solar years.[8] The completion of this cycle and the repetition of the previous Creation’s Long Count ending date have been central to the 2012 phenomenon. Academic researchers have not concluded that the ancient Maya themselves attached similar significance to this point in time.[9]

December 23 – An alternative date for the completion of the thirteenth B’ak’tun in the Long Count calendar, calculated using another version of the GMT correlation[10] which is supported by a few Mayanist researchers.[11]

December 31 – The Kyoto Protocol will expire.

As for the movie…i won’t ruin the plot for you. You should check it out though. Here’s the trailer below for anyone who wants a little peek before facing the real thing…

The movie looks good, but again i don’t think i believe that this will really happen. Actually i don’t know if this will actually happen. I mean, we can’t predict the future, can we? And believing so hard on theories and scaring ourselves is not going to help so i really can’t bring myself to get scared about this. But that’s my opinion. We, at Ebony Ink, want to know your opinion on this movie and the theory it’s based on. So leave us a comment and enjoy the movie (if your going to watch it).

 

We’re Back and Bigger Than Ever Before!

Welcome to the all new 

As you might have noticed we’ve changed quite a bit on the blog and now we’re taking the makeover further!

We have (finally) added those sparkly new pages we said we would so check out our…

So the pages aren’t exactly filled up yet but they will be soon, so if you have a touching quote or story, some motivation, inspiration, an urge to show off something nice you did for someone even though you didn’t have to, or someone did something for you that touched your heart, leave a comment to share it with the rest of the world. =]

And just so you don’t miss out on anything make sure you Bookmark us and check back because the next 10 days at Ebony Ink are going to be filled with changes and BRAND NEW STUFF!!

If you have any comments or suggestions for us, please leave us a comment and we’ll be sure to get back as soon as we possibly can (24 hours at the most, since we may be in different time zones =])

Till then… a bientot!

Ebony Update

Hey everyone!

We hope you had a spook-tacualar Halloween! (Yeah, okay, I know it’s the most overused and cheesy line everrrr)
We just want to update you on what’s happening on the blog for the next few weeks. We have our end of year exams coming up so we’re, let’s put it like this, ‘taking a break’. But don’t worry we’ll be back on with brand new stuff (we’re adding a few pages and making some others redundant) because after the exams we have… HOLIDAYS!! (NZ, Southern hemisphere… yeah, we get a looooong Christmas/Summer holiday meshed into one. And as weird as it is to you Northern Hemispherers we celebrate Christmas in the summer…! Which is good coz we’re real BBQ people down here) =] ). If you have exams coming up too and would like some tips, check out our How To Survive Exam Prep post (just type it into the search and hit enter…!).

Right, so back to the point… We’re (as you might know already) giving Ebony Ink a makeover!! Which means we’re changing it totally. We’ve already managed to give it a brand new look in between studying our brains to mush for the exams, and now we’re going to change the content too. We think we should let you guys know what’s coming (and going), because after all the blog is all for you. So here’s how it goes:

• We are getting rid of our Books, Movies and Music page, so say goodbye to that!
• We are considering removing the Embarrassing Stories page
• We will be adding a Quotes page
• We will add a pictures/photo page
• We are still working on the layout and look of the blog (of which 50% is done but there is still room for tweaks in that 50)

If you have any comments/suggestions/questions you can drop us a comment and we’ll be sure to get back. Or you can email us on ebony_ink@live.com (we won’t spam your email or use it for… I don’t know… dodgy stuff or anything! We’re trustworthy people).

So have a good time while we suffer and struggle through hours of torture in the examination room… =( BUT we’ll be back with all the new stuff we’ve promised (more or less… we might decide to make a few changes =P) but ultimately you guys are in on the plan!!

We’re giving Ebony Ink a Makeover (finally)

We’ve been thinking about it a while, and now we’re finally putting it to action. We’re renovating the blog, TOTALLY so bookmark us and check back, you’ll find something a little less haphazard and a lot more fresh.

Please help us out by doing this quick poll, any suggestions/comments are much appreciated! =)
It’s only a couple of minutes but it would help us A LOT!! (sorry about the bad format. i’m not on good terms with this thing today)

The Halloween Post

Having trouble deciding your Halloween costume? Try making this undeniably awesome headless bride costume from Instructibles.com. There are step by step instructions on how to make it. If that’s a bit of a handful for ya you’ll find some easier things too. If you want you can just enjoy the picture and move on =D.

Now that's what I call talent. And awesomeness.

Would you like a groom with that?

Who said you need a head to bowl?

Here are a couple of short, ’scary’ and ‘true’ stories I found on the internet. (If you’re planning on that headless bride costume, you should read the first short story… you can tell people a whole story behind the headlessness!)

There’s a bridge called “Covert’s Crossing” or “Covert’s Bridge” up in New Castle. A young couple had gotten married on Halloween. Around midnight, they were riding in a horse drawn carriage across the bridge at the same time a car was. The bridge was only one lane, so by the time they saw each other it was too late. Story has it that they crashed and the hubcap of the car flew off, decapitating the bride. The police never found her head or the body of the groom. Its been said that if you sit on the bridge on Halloween night around midnight, you can see the headless bride standing on some rocks in the river. They don’t know if she is looking for her head or her lost love.

Here’s one I heard on the radio from a woman who told her story about seeing a ghost, which is scary: A few years ago, the woman and her family had just moved to a new house somewhere in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. One night, her baby son was crying so she got out of bed and went to see him. Suddenly, the baby stopped crying. The woman knew that he must have fallen asleep so she went back to bed. A few hours later, the baby cried again, so she got up and went over to check again. As she opened the door to her son’s room, she saw a boy, about 6 or 7 years old, calming the baby down. When he saw the woman, he disappeared. The woman was shocked and later told her neighbours what happened. The neighbours already knew about the ghost and told her that there was a boy who died from an illness, about 80 years ago, and was buried under the exact place where her baby son’s room is.

Happy Halloween everyone!!

Miley Deletes Twitter!

News is that Miley Cyrus deleted her Twitter… here’s the dish from the fast-talking guy:

Taylor Lautner Singing Miley Cyrus Song

lol, this vid is worth checking out. this is two of the most popular stars merging and is a once in a lifetime thing (maybe thats an exaggeration but u get what i mean) so check it out…